This week on the Idiots’ Odyssey: Fox are bringing in someone who actually knows what they’re doing to pull the Alien franchise out of the toilet and we play a fun new game with Chris Evans’ biceps: photoshop or steroids. Oh, and Shaft is getting rebooted. No, wait. That story’s fifteen years old, how did that get in there? Clumsy me. In other news, E.L. James is attempting to make the next Fifty Shades installment even more of a disappointment (and that thing isn’t exactly the Citizen Kane of films to get off to) and Oliver Stone is hiring some awesome actors for his latest attempt to completely screw up someone’s life story. Press the button below to have these stories and more delivered by…however the hell the internet delivers things to people. Screw it, magic. The stories will be delivered to you by internet magic.